We're (both!) Changing Our Names! Kind of...

Note: This blog is co-authored by Shai and Savyon! So if the tense gets confusing... oops.

We’re changing our name! Not exactly in the way you think - Shai is still going to be Shai Weener, but with a twist. And Savyon is not going to be a Weener.

When we were deciding how we were going to manage names in our family, there were a few considerations:

1. Shai wasn’t going to give up the name Weener.

2. Savyon (rightfully) doesn’t want the name Weener, and wants to be able to stay connected to her family.

3. We want the same name as our children.

4. Down with the patriarchy?

“What does the patriarchy have to do with this?” you might ask. Well, something we were considering is that, in the dominant culture in the US, last names are patrilineal. Savyon’s last name? Her Father’s. Savyon’s Mother’s last name? Her Grandfather’s. We're not throwing shade towards anyone who chose to take their spouse's name at marriage, because after all, feminism is getting to choose what last name you want, and any choice is valid. We just found that for us, we wanted to explore another route. We wanted our family name to mean something different than tracing through patrilineage. We want our children to know they can carve their own path with choices that are right for them.

For that reason, we decided to come up with a new name that we are both going to add to the end of our current names. If our last name was Chair, for example, (which it isn’t) Shai would be Shai Weener-Chair, and Savyon would be Savyon Sordean-Chair. Our kids? Last name Chair. Our family? The Chair family. 

We love each other deeply and are choosing to be on this path together moving forward; we don’t want this name choice to erase our histories, our paths, or our independent identities. This family name is us coming together in the beautifully messy way that two trees become intertwined. Two independent people at some moments, seemingly one at others, and acting as a larger whole. 

Once we decided that we'd change our name, we naturally were now tasked with figuring out... what

name! We wanted a word with a positive meaning, and one that connected us to our Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, whether that was a Hebrew word, Jewish word, or even Yiddish. We also wanted a name that sounded aesthetically nice, and something that was short given we both already have 6+ characters in each of our last names (and hyphenating with something long would become a mouthful). Almost immediately, Savyon came up with what she wanted. Shai, as the generally resistant person that he is, wanted to run through all of the options - scouring the Hebrew dictionaries and the google translations, and crowdsourcing the Hebrew-speaking family members. And it all kept coming back to one option. Which, unbeknownst to Savyon at the time, actually was a part of her lineage by being her Maternal great-grandmother’s maiden name. So though it turns out not to be exactly starting from scratch, we’re happy to have a name that is simultaneously created by us and is rooted in family history. 

As of our wedding, we will be the Lev family!

For those who don’t know, Lev is the Hebrew word for Heart.

When we had decided on the name, we created a Name Ceremony for the two of us, and held this ceremony within our home, together. We talked about what the name meant to us, and how we want to use it to guide us as we build our future and family together.

We're going to the court house... they wouldn't let us change our names

Though maybe we’ll share more details of that special Ceremony at another point, we wanted to share this part of the journey with you: two individuals joining by taking on a new name together. And so, here you are, getting to hear about this special step we’re taking. Of course, as one would expect, there is some bureaucracy causing some minor setbacks to making this legally official immediately for the wedding, but we will be working to make these changes official soon. Keep an eye on the local newspaper for our name request :). For now, we are excited to take on our name together, and to have it be witnessed by our community!